A car accident can happen in seconds, but your mind may replay those few seconds for days or even weeks.
- Why did this happen?
- What could I have done differently?
- Was this somehow my fault?
These thoughts are common after something sudden and stressful. Along with neck pain, back pain, headaches, or soreness, you may also be carrying something that cannot be seen on an X-ray: judgment about what happened and judgment about yourself.
Dr. Tom recently reflected on an idea from A Course in Miracles, Lesson 243: “Today I will judge nothing that occurs.”
That idea can offer an interesting perspective during recovery.
The Story We Tell Ourselves
After an accident, there are facts about what happened. Maybe another vehicle hit you. Maybe you never saw the collision coming. Maybe you keep thinking about something you could have done differently.
But then there is the story your mind creates around those facts.
You might tell yourself:
- “I should have reacted faster.”
- “I should have taken another road.”
- “I should have seen that car.”
- “Why does something like this always happen to me?”
The mind naturally wants an explanation. Sometimes it even tries to find someone to blame—and that person can become you.
But a thought is not always the whole truth.
Pause Before You Judge Yourself
One of the practices Dr. Tom discusses is simply learning to notice when judgment appears.
When your mind starts replaying the accident, pause.
You might quietly recognize:
“This is a judgment, not necessarily the whole truth.”
That does not mean pretending the accident never happened. It does not mean ignoring pain, responsibility, insurance issues, or the facts of the collision.
It simply means you do not have to turn a painful experience into a judgment about your worth, your decisions, or yourself.
There is an important difference between asking:
“What should I do next?”
and repeatedly asking:
“What did I do wrong?”
The first question can help you move forward. The second may keep you trapped in the moment.
Release What You Cannot Change
No amount of replaying the accident can change the few seconds before the crash.
What you can control is what happens next.
- You can pay attention to your symptoms.
- You can get evaluated if you are hurting.
- You can follow your treatment recommendations.
- You can communicate with your doctors.
- And you can give yourself permission to stop carrying every “what if” with you.
For people who approach recovery through faith, prayer or spiritual reflection may also provide a way to release some of that mental weight.
Dr. Tom's reflection is about creating space between what happened and the judgment we place on what happened.
Receive the Next Loving and Appropriate Step
Healing does not always happen all at once.
Sometimes recovery is simply choosing the next appropriate step.
- If your neck hurts, address your neck.
- If your back is stiff, tell your provider.
- If you are struggling with fear or stress after the collision, acknowledge that too.
You do not need to solve the entire experience today.
You only need to decide what the next healthy step looks like.
That could mean coming in for an evaluation. It could mean following through with your exercises. It could mean resting. It could also mean recognizing that you have been blaming yourself for something you cannot change.
Healing Can Be More Than Physical
At Dayton Pain & Injury, we spend a lot of time helping people recover physically after motor vehicle accidents.
But anyone who has been through a collision knows that an accident can affect more than muscles and joints.
- It can change how comfortable you feel driving.
- It can make you replay the accident.
- It can leave you frustrated, angry, scared, or guilty.
Physical treatment and spiritual reflection are not the same thing, and one should not replace the other. But recovery can involve caring for the whole person.
Your body may need treatment. Your mind may need perspective. And sometimes your spirit may simply need permission to stop asking, “Why me?”
A Simple Practice for Today
When you notice yourself judging what happened:
- Pause. Notice the thought.
- Name it. “This is a judgment, not the whole truth.”
- Release it. You do not have to keep carrying the thought.
- Receive. Ask yourself, “What is the next healthy and appropriate step I can take?”
You cannot change the accident.
But you can choose how you move forward from it.
And sometimes healing begins when we stop judging the moment behind us and start caring for the person standing here today.
